These are some prayers from my journal.
11/4/02
-Lord, when I find myself having strayed from You and Your ways, You gently whisper from within me: “My child, come back to me. I am here waiting for you to ask for my assistance and guidance”. I am then overcome with joy at the rememberence of your divine love and protection, but at the same time am brought to great humility and mourning at realizing that I have tried to live apart from your grace and direction and under my own power have fallen back into my sinful ways. When I am walking by the light of your goodness everything in this life is easy to endure, for to not accept things patiently and as being part of your your Holy Will is to not accept You for Yourself. One can only truely be humbled and realize their dependence on you if by your grace you have opened their eyes to your greatness as the Divine Fountainhead from which all things flow and are given life. For you are much more worthy of the most and greatest that we are capable of giving; and unworthy of receiving the the very least and ordinary of Your gifts are we. But can any gift from You be considered small and ordinary? Blessed be your Name oh Lord, who I am not even worthy to contemplate on or have any knowledge of. For even in recognizing all things as coming from you, I cannot give you the proper praise without the assistance of your grace. I pray that You not turn your face from me and take away your abundance of blessings or especially the grace and light that I am able to know you through. For I would not even know you had you not given me the light in which to see you through. May I be given the grace, if it is according to your will, to give up my own desires and wants and become completely subject to what your most holy will is for me. Amen
11/6/02
-Oh Lord! How can I after having tasted of your sweet Divinity desire anything but You Yourself? I do not desire to be showered with material gifts unless it be to glorify you and make your greatness known. The one desire of my heart is to have You and to be completely transformed into the one whom your most holy will desires. Please oh Lord do not ever let me lose sight of you or weaken in my desire for you. For that desire is my soul actively engaging in the unification that you created it for. Lord, the desire of my heart is for you to make me more wholly yours and you wholly mine. Oh sweet Lord how can I ever obtain this one desire besides allowing myself to be lost in myself to see and become Yourself?
9/5/04
-Lord, I pray that you might strengthen my faith and submission to what it is that you would have me do so that it may be clearly seen in me that it is you that is doing it. Lord I earnestly plead with you that I might not in any way put a stumbling block in anyone’s path, but all that I speak is that which you are speaking through me and that it is your will that it be spoken so that others may hear.
10/27/04
-Lord, all things are done because you have chosen to do them, and all things you have chosen to do have and will be done because you have wished it to be so. What you ask of us is that we trust and believe that this is so, because if not then there is no hope. If it was not so then we are dependent upon ourselves. And you have made it known that those whom you have chosen to seek after you cannot do what it is that we desire to do for you unless you do it. So if you have done it, it is as it ought to be because it is you that did it. So we trust and have faith that if what we do we do because we believe it is what we ought to do out of our desire for you, then what we do is that which you have already done. Thanks and praise be to you for having done what you have desired to do. And we rest in the fact that all that you do is good. And I pray that your will be done and that you have chosen me to know that you are bringing glory to yourself by letting this be known. Amen.
1/27/05
Lord, why is it that when I am most aware of the profound truth and the promise of that rightousness that is by faith, that I am furthest from walking in that very faith? And those times when I lack that continuos recognition of this divine mystery, are the very times that I am walking in it. Is it that I must leave it to realize that I ought to have remained in it? Why can I not remain in it and know that that is where I am? But I know that You know this is the situation that I am in and you have desired it to be so. So whether I am walking by faith (which is walking by the Spirit in me, or the Spirit in me walking) or being made aware that I am still not entirely one with you, I know that You are and am convinced that we cannot be seperated.
3/7/05
Lord, whatever it is that thou ask of me to endure, I willingly accept it. Asking only that You endure it for me and give me the will to accept it.